The holidays are an amazing time for family members to celebrate and enjoy each other’s company. Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or New Year’s Eve, it’s always fun to partake in traditions with fellow family members. All the holiday movies show families laughing and smiling and the various songs talk about how everything is always “merry and bright” around this time of year. However, some individuals may not feel very happy about celebrating the holidays with their loved ones. There may be those who may have feelings of guilt, shame, and stress; often referred to as the “holiday blues.” It is a common thing for someone to experience, and we are here to help those who may be feeling this way and assure them that they are not alone.
Don’t Be Afraid to Test the Waters
It can be easy to fall victim to stress and depression around family members because the discussions can range from politics to other triggering topics. For example, it wouldn’t be a surprise if family members found themselves discussing politics around the dinner table. When it comes time to enjoy some conversations, it’s key to address anything that may be uncomfortable to discuss. Juniper Center clinician Emily Dubach explains that “exploring boundaries can be a way to maintain and help relationships. It can create spaces of respect, let go of resentments, and work toward your goals for the relationships.” It does make things easier and can allow families to be more creative when it comes to figuring out what conversations to have around the dinner table.
Prioritize Holiday Commitments
This is a typical time of the year when “holiday stress” can be observed in some people because of everything they need to do. Buying Christmas presents for their loved ones, scheduling flights for traveling home, and cooking dinner for a large family gathering, it seems that the amount of things that need to be done is never-ending. A blog post from TrueCare advises to not try and “pack too much into your schedule when you know you may not be able to handle it all. Be selective in the plans you commit to, and be sure to stick to your normal routine as much as you can.” Try to figure out what items on your holiday to-do list are the most important and need to get done right away and which other items can be done later. The more organization that is put into a holiday to-do list, the easier it will be to accomplish and the less likely it will be to feel overwhelmed.
Exploring One’s Chosen Family
It is common to define family as a blood-related member, like parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. While this may be the traditional definition, Dr. Dubach explains that “the term “family” can extend beyond bloodline and marriage. Family can be anyone who makes you feel loved, accepted, and appreciated. While you never have to 100% agree with anyone, you still feel like you can be yourself. Said differently, you can create your own “family” with whom you can have holiday memories that are hopefully not stressful or hurtful. For example, it’s not uncommon for a group of friends to get together to host a Secret Santa gift exchange, where fun times are almost always guaranteed. It’s a good time to exchange gifts, enjoy some delicious food, and share some laughs. This can also be a good alternative way to celebrate the holidays if it’s not possible to travel home to visit family, and it will also help with any feelings of loneliness.
Talk About Your Feelings with Others
While there may be times when someone may feel like they are lonely during the holidays, it’s important to remember that no one is ever truly alone. Not only is it a good thing to talk to those who mean the most to you, but also seeking therapy can truly change someone’s perspective and help them feel happier about themselves, especially during the holidays. Emily Dubach comments that “working with a therapist can help you process your own emotions and make choices that serve you rather than the expectations put on you. It can also help you make choices that are empowering for you. The goal is always what you want and need and how to better manage these feelings.”
The Juniper Center is here to be an amazing resource for guidance. If you are interested in finding out more, please call 847-759-9110 or visit our website www.thejunipercenter.com for more details! We hope everyone gets to celebrate the holidays with the ones they love!